Poetry, Uncategorized

Messed Up

Yeah, I admit it.
I’m a little messed up.
I’m the old house down the street —
The unkept eye sore shrouded in mystery.
Abandoned.
Vacant with an unknown story.
Yes, I once had my glory,
but that was then
and this is now.
My walls are chipped —
Wallpaper yellowed and torn.
Planks missing on the floors.
But,
 my foundation is still intact
and my walls are still up.
I may not be the new smart homes across the street,
but I doubt their wi-fi walls could handle
the storms that I’ve been through.

Yeah, I admit it.
I’m a little messed up.
In a forest full of tall trees
I am the stump in the midst of them all.
Some may call that coming up short in life,
but my roots are still deep in this ground
and I know how far I could’ve grown
if my trunk never met that saw
and my limbs never challenged the winds.
But,
that’s no guarantee
that I would’ve grown to become 
a mighty tree
because I look around this forest
at all the “mighty” trees
and many have reached great heights
only to fall before me.

Yeah, I admit it.
I’m a little messed up.
I am the poisonous lake that cannot support life —
Beautiful and blue.
Inviting and warm.
Fooling men to believe that I come without flaws,
until the toxic gases surface to the top
and they discover the eruptions that occur beneath the peace.
I have the capability
of destroying everything that comes near me.
Yes, it can be a curse.
But,
a blessing in disguise.

Because the damaged never has to worry about becoming
Messed up.

 

Signature Manessah B

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47 thoughts on “Messed Up”

  1. Hole Lady B. For me this is all about showing your true colors. People tend to hide their dark side or secrets during a new courtship or friendship (for lack of a better word). But as their relationship grows, their true colors slowly start to rear its ugly head. I like to kind of throw my cards on the table early, to see if there is a fit. (Of course I cling to all the aces).

    Now, the other aspect of this poem. We are all messed up (in our own ways). Lord knows I need a little renovation. (OKAY LADY B. A WHOLE DAMN LOT. BUT WE DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THERE.). We are all broken (messed up) in our own little way. Part of life and love is perhaps, finding the right person whose jigsaw pieces fits ours. I am certain you already know I was never good at puzzles (thus my monicker).

    Very good piece. The metaphor was perfect.
    Have as good one Lady B.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well hola, Sir A! Hope you’re enjoying this fabulous Monday.

      I know all about what you mean on laying the cards out early on. I’m like this: If I tell you what you have to deal with ahead of time, there will be no surprises later. What you see is what you get.

      Big “LOL” on this —> “Lord knows I need a little renovation. (OKAY LADY B. A WHOLE DAMN LOT. BUT WE DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THERE.)” 😂 You and I both, Sir A. I’m still holding on to hope that my sharp pieces are someone’s missing pieces, but if I’m not it’s not the end of the world. Maybe my pieces are meant to fit a different kind of puzzle. As for your moniker and you never being good at puzzles I give you a loud “Ha!” (picture Edna Crabapple from The Simpsons). I think you don’t give yourself enough credit my friend.

      Your words were a perfect start to my day, Sir A. Always appreciate the laughs and encouragement you show. You are an awesome friend. Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes. Wishing you an awesome Monday.

      Like

  2. This is an honest exposing of how you see yourself maybe. But what we often see within ourselves is not always a true reflection of who we are. We are often our biggest and harshest critics. We are guilty of over analysing our flaws, while ignoring our kindness, our empathy towards others, our love and caring nature. This is what we do too often. You are a spirit with a heart of gold, a house harbouring true beauty and treasures. You are the diamond in hiding, a classy act, a talented creative being as shown in this wonderful ink. Faux

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Faux… what can I say to this? Your words are always so humbling and so heartfelt and I can’t help but almost cry reading this. Thank you so much for these words.

      We are our own worst critics at times and I’ve spent a long time being that to myself. From time to time, old ways try to slip back in but I have to remind myself that for all the things people say I lack in, I can think of things I am rich in. This poem was all about that: Acknowledging my imperfections, while pointing out the upsides from them. We all have our own degrees of brokenness, but it doesn’t mean we are worthless.

      You are such a wonderful and sweet person, Faux. I don’t know if I tell you that enough. Thank you so much for being such a beautiful friend and amazing spirit. I feel blessed to have met you my friend.

      Like

      1. The blessing and the pleasure and the being lucky to have such an amazing friend is all mine, having connected to you, the most inspirational and brightest light and soul I’ve ever known. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. What I truly love and respect of this poem. Is how you are expressing the true colors that we as humans experience on a day to day basis.

    We make mistakes that we reflect on those mistakes as messed up.
    Our kindness of us is there, but we sometimes fall guilty on our ignorance and not appreciating of what’s in front of us.

    Hope I’m analyzing your poem correctly. Powerfully good. And I’m so happy you are back. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s good to see your words too, my dear friend and yes, your interpretation is another way to look at this poem. Sometimes we can get so caught up on our flaws, mistakes, failures, etc. that we start seeing ourselves as too messed up to receive anything good in life, which is far from true.

      In a way, this poem is a combination of many personal feelings and experiences in one. This was written from my struggles with health issues and my disability, as well as me acknowledging that I may come up short to the standards that others have when it comes to life, happiness and success. So, I’m admitting to the world that I don’t fit society’s template of perfection. I’m far from it. I’m messed up (damaged) in some ways and that’s okay. Because where people may feel I lack in life, I can show them 10 great things that I do not lack. It’s all about acceptance of who we are in all our imperfect glory. Love me, or leave me. But don’t minimize me. 🙂

      I’m so grateful for your thoughts and you taking the time to read this poem, Charlie. You were greatly missed while I was away. Hope you’re enjoying your Monday. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m so sorry your going through this. May I ask, what health issues are you experiencing?

        I know exactly how you feel. We are all imperfect and live in an imperfect world. I don’t understand why society wants to make this world and everyone around them as perfect.

        You are welcome my friend. I miss reading your work. I’m so happy you are back. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so sweet, Charlie. Thank you. 🙂
        My health issues are related to my disability and damage done to my organs from multiple surgeries I have had to cure an illness and correct multiple mistakes a surgeon made on me years ago. As a result from that, I almost died. I’ve had 3 near death experiences in my lifetime: 2 from surgeries. So I definitely had to redefine what normalcy is for me. 🙂

        I agree, I don’t understand what this obsession with perfection is all about. I’ve been on that end of the spectrum trying to keep up with the photoshopped images, the perfect bodies, the prestigious labels and such… It’s tiring and I just can’t keep up with something that is literally unattainable. I’m learning to just be happy with being me. That’s all I can be in the end.

        I have missed you, too, my dear friend. Your words were greatly missed and it’s always super fun chatting with you. Thank you for the love and support, Charlie. You are a gem. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh…my….So sorry to hear you almost had a fatal close call. I’m glad you are here and being inspired by music, writing, and friends. You are strong and many respects to you my friend. 🙂

        Never change your image to anyone. Always maintain your true self and be happy with you being you. 🙂

        Missed you too as well my friend. 🙂

        I always enjoy talking to you and having such great conversations. 🙂

        You are welcome my friend. 🙂 Bless you so much. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you for your warm words, Charlie. Those close calls gave me a new outlook and appreciation on life. So the things I used to think were important (like trying to attain perfection) are not even a priority on my list of things to accomplish in life. Just learning to enjoy every moment and live each day as they come. 🙂

        I’m so thankful for your friendship and I’m always motivated and encouraged by the things you say, my friend. Thank you for them.

        Stay awesome and much love to you! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful beautiful BEAUTIFUL! Love all the analogies, they’re all so amazing. This whole thing is so well-written (but is that really a surprise, knowing you wrote it?). Love this so much, Manessah! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so, so sweet, Sky! Thank you!!
      I’m so happy that you loved this poem, my sweet friend, and thrilled that it touched your heart. Hope you’re having a fabulous Monday, lovely! Big hugs to you! ❤🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so very sweet, Nova. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, my dear friend. I really do appreciate them more than you know. Hope you are doing well and enjoying your Monday. ☺️✨💕🌸

      Liked by 1 person

  5. what a marvelous piece Brandi! when something is old or broken we see it as a mess and discard it. forgetting it’s history and previous worth, maybe even still of use. your metaphors are so on point and touch the core of humanities frivolous ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gina! It’s so good to see your words again, my sweet friend. Thank you so much for your kind compliment of this poem. It is a sad reality of life that some people choose to see brokenness as a sign of worthlessness. Broken doesn’t mean worthless and it certainly doesn’t render us unloveable either. I’m so happy this poem spoke to you and that you enjoyed and appreciated the message in it, G. Thank you again for your warm words. Hope you have a beautiful day ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Love this piece fam, you took all the pieces out of something that one would consider messed up, but it reality it truly makes them unique. The home that weathered the storm, faded its paint and stood the test of time gives it strength. The tree that’s not as tall as the rest but its roots run deeper tells me that it’s more loyal and will stand when things get tough while other trees waver. And the lake that holds untouchable waters but the luring beauty to hold attention. It’s like the intriguing secret meant to be learned but not to be told. All these messed up qualities to make a uniquely beautiful individual. The only messed up thing is there isn’t more of them.
    A wonderfully written piece fam, you make every flaw feel flawless. A true artist.🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t even know how to respond to this, Wild. Everything you said is beyond beautiful and is really poetry in itself. Your thoughts about the house standing the test of time and giving its strength, the deep flowing roots of the stump being a sign of unwavering loyalty and the untouchable waters being a secret meant to be discovered but never told… Wow. That’s what this poem is all about. Taking what others deem worthless and finding the treasure beneath it all. Sometimes the most valuable things in life come in packages we least expect. You nailed that interpretation perfectly, fam.

      Thank you so much for diving deep into these words and pulling out beauty that even I didn’t know was in there. Like I said before, your comments alone could be best selling books, my friend. 😊🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You humble me, I simply speak to the beauty you put out there lovely. You drew the roadmap and I just followed your coordinates. You write amazing truths, magnificent motivation and incredible inspirations fam. And the fact that you say I pull out beauty you didn’t know was there makes you even more amazing because aside from the beauty you put out, you’re even adding hidden beauty to your poetry and that’s talent.
        When a person writes with their heart, it’s so much fun to read between the lines because then you’re really reading.😊🌹. Stay lovely, but that’s easy for you fam!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, M! Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy you enjoyed this post, my dear friend. I hope you’ve been doing well on your end. Sending lots of love your way. 😊❤️

      Like

    1. Hey Tamara! Thank you for the sweet compliment and for letting me know what’s going on with you. I’m so sorry you’re having trouble with someone harassing you, but hopefully it will all die down soon. Keep your head up and stay strong. You’ve got this, T. 🙂

      Hugs! ♥️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Love that you are so strong and brave enough to share your feelings in this post!!! Bravo!! Having been my harshest critic for years I’m hoping you too will find that our own perceptions are not always those of the others or the world. Sometimes having been broken is not actually a flaw or unattractive, as in having had a broken bone that heals back stronger than before it was broken! I would urge and encourage you to not only accept the words you have written but to realize all the strength, beauty and wisdom you have and need to share. Marshall your talents, skills and gifts and be the very best you possible!! We see and support you as the flower growing up from the crack in the concrete and we are loving you and cheering you on, My Dear!!
    xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chuck, I read your words and I’m left with watery eyes. To read the love and support that I have from you and so many others on here truly swells my heart. I feel bad because I feel like I can’t adequately respond to these beautiful words you shared… All I can say is thank you so much, my dear friend. Thank you for all that you have said.

      I know there is a well of potential deep within me. Some of that potential I truly believe has not even been tapped yet. And I guess I spend my days desperately trying to go deeper within myself and find that untapped potential and make use of it. Some days it’s hard to do, but I keep digging, keep trying and I feel that in some small way I’m getting there. We are our own worst critic at times and I’ve spent years being harsh on myself. Writing this poem was my way of admitting what I have thought of myself, what others have said about me and me saying “Yeah, I may or may not be these things, but I am _________” << And I choose to fill that blank line with something positive about myself. I've earned these scars I have, I survived the storms and I'm telling the world that I may not be what they think I should be, but I am here still and I'm ready to fight for myself.

      Your friendship means so much to me, Chuck. Thank you so much for everything you do, my sweet friend. You are an angel. 🙂
      xoxoxo

      Like

  8. Wow, how beautifully written is this… Messed up can be the cause of heartache but can be beautiful too – your use of metaphors to describe this is so sublime. We’re all our own brand of messed up I think. Hugs to you my friend ❤️🧡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Rachel.

      “Our own brand of messed up” << How awesome this line is! We all have our quirks and that's what adds to our uniqueness, I think. But, I'm learning those quirks can serve as a good filter to see who is for real and who isn't, who can handle our baggage and who can't. Sometimes the broken parts of us can seem like a curse, but they can actually be a blessing in disguise. All the way we choose to look at it. 🙂

      I'm so happy you enjoyed this poem and appreciated the metaphors I used to describe some parts of my life. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your very sweet compliments of this poem, my dear friend. I really do appreciate it. Big hugs to you!! ❤️🧡

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What you say reminds me of kintsugi, that Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with gold, with the repaired product being more beautiful and solid than it was before. Your words have such beautiful sentiments 🧡❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Kintsugi is a beautiful art form and it harbors a beautiful message in it. Broken can still be beautiful and you don’t have to despair because you have a few cracks and missing pieces. You can still be whole, while being broken. ❤️

        Your beautiful compliment of what I share on here is very humbling, R. Thank you so much for seeing something wonderful in what I write. Really means a lot.

        Like

  9. “I may not be the new smart homes across the street,
    but I doubt their wi-fi walls could handle
    the storms that I’ve been through”
    That was my favorite line through this whole poem.
    This got me in deep thought.
    What I got out of reading this was that, in life you have the popular and unpopular.
    Unpopular is usually more old-fashioned and can’t keep up with lastest trends.
    Popular is the one thats up to date with everything. But here’s the thing, everything that’s new becomes old.
    Unpopular is categorized as weak on the outside, lame and boring, but yet on the inside lays a very strong foundation that fought through many storms where as popular is just a phase like a mansion with a weak foundation

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My friend, you hit this SPOT ON. You pulled out of this poem exactly what I was trying to convey. It’s a picture of me accepting that I don’t fit in with the norms of society. I am far from popular, far from being rich and successful, far from being perfect. And that’s okay.

      One may not be the most popular thing on the block, but they can say they are here and can contribute something to life that another may never understand or be able to do. Someone may be old school, but old school doesn’t mean stupid and incapable of keeping up with the times. Usually the ones categorized as “weak, lame and boring” are the ones that can handle the toughest obstacles in life. Like you said, the foundation is strong because they’ve fought through many storms – opposed to the mansion with a weak foundation. It’s big, it’s grand… but can it weather the storm?

      Really do love your response and thoughts on this poem, my friend. Thank you so much for sharing your insightful comment with me. Really do appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

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